Spanking
By Raven Shadowborne © 1998
Just about everyone knows what a spanking is. Many people have felt them at
some point in their lives, usually as children when they had done something
wrong. Many people look at spanking as a disciplinary measure only and
wonder how those of us in BDSM can enjoy spanking and even find it
erotically stimulating. This is one of my favorite types of play. This is
also one of the few types of pain play that can be done by anyone without
any extra toys. All you need is your own hands and someone to spank.,
A spanking can be done in any number of positions and is
comprised of striking the buttocks and sometimes the upper thighs. There are
those who say a spanking is only a spanking if just a hand is used and only
buttocks are struck. I'm not one of those. For me, it's the positioning and
tone of the session that differentiates it from other types of play. I
include the use of paddles, straps, belts, crops and slappers under the
heading of spanking. Slippers, rulers and many other toys can also be used.
Depending on the position chosen, some toys may be uncomfortable for the
spanker to use. Most of the positions place the spankee in a bent over body
posture, presenting their bottom to the spanker.
OTK (over the knee or lap) is the classic spanking
position. The spankee lays themselves across the spanker's lap. The
spankee's hips should rest on the thigh of the spanker's dominant hand.
(right or left depending on which hand is dominant). Their hands can be
touching the floor or the rungs of a chair. The spanker should place his arm
across the lower back of the spankee, hand holding at the waist and elbow
resting comfortably between or beneath the shoulder blades. This stabilizes
the spankee and prevents any possible falling off the lap as well as giving
the spanker control of the spankee's body to hold him/her in place. This is
best done in a straight back chair or in some other place that allows the
spanker to sit upright comfortably and support the weight of the spankee.
Variances on this position can include placing the legs of the spankee
between the legs of the spanker, and having them bend over one thigh. This
effectively traps the spankee's legs and prevents kicking or interference.
This position also increases the humiliation factor for the spankee. Being
over someone's lap to be spanked can be quite humiliating for some people.
Other positions can include laying face down on a flat
surface, elevating the hips (and therefor the buttocks) with pillows,
bending over a table or desk, bending over and grasping shins, ankles or
knees (this is classic paddling position), and bending over the back of a
piece of furniture such as a couch or chair. Whatever the position, the
spanker should have easy access to the spankee without having to bend over
and with adequate room for what ever he/she is going to use for the
spanking.
Selecting a position is up to the people involved but you may want to
consider the following factors when deciding. If this is to be a long
session, a more comfortable position for both participants might be a good
idea. If this is to be a punishment session you may wish to choose a
position that requires the spankee to participate by continuously having to
lift his/her buttocks for the next strike.
The pain of a spanking can last quite some time after the
spanking is completed. It is not the strength of the strikes which creates
the lasting effect, it is the length of time the session went on. During a
spanking, the nerve endings in the buttocks become numb decreasing much of
the actual pain. If you are going for pain (as in a punishment for example)
you may wish to take periodic breaks between spanking sessions to allow the
nerves to come back to life. If you are going for that "lasting
glow", you may wish to consider using lighter strikes for a longer
period of time or taking breaks as above. If you want to create more sting
with your hand, try separating your fingers as you strike, this displaces
the sting over a larger area and allows more airflow between the fingers
effectively creating more strength behind the blow. Another way is to hold
the hand slightly cupped, fingers tightly together and wrist rigid. This
creates a sensation similar to a paddle. The endorphins in the body will
respond to the pain and create a high for the spankee. Some safety tips,
don't strike an area that is white in color or already forming a bruise.
This can cause more serious bruising. Alternate the areas you are striking.
This creates a wider base of warmth and prevents the nerves from going numb
too fast. Do not strike the kidney area.
Spankings can be very erotic. The heat generated in the
buttocks will spread throughout the pelvic area of the spankee. This heat
can raise one's passions quickly. A slow spanking, alternating the strength
of the blows can be quite arousing. For those who enjoy pain play, this
creates a warm up so the harder blows do not feel painful. To increase the
arousing effects of a spanking you can do many different things. Some of
which are to draw it out, tell the spankee what you are going to do to them,
how aroused it will make them, how much you enjoy it. Play it up, slowly
position and reposition the spankee. Mix the strikes with other arousing
touches, caresses, kisses and even nibbles. Add some toys if you wish to, a
vibrating butt plug, vibrating egg, or other things which really turn your
partner on. Caress the buttocks with ice, the sharp contrast in sensations
can cause many people to become very aroused. Alternate your strikes to
include the back of the thighs, inner thighs, sweet spot (where thigh meets
the curve of the buttock) and even genitals. (use lighter strikes on the
genital area, the nerves there are a lot more sensitive than the buttocks)
The OTK position places the clitoris of a female spankee in contact with the
thigh of the spanker, this can allow for the woman to become very aroused as
she wiggles on the lap therefore stimulating the clitoris.
After the spanking it is important to follow with the
proper after care. Cuddling your partner, or other ways of soothing him or
her are useful in helping your partner to come down. A cooling lotion
applied to the heated skin can be a great way to soothe your partner, as
well as lead into other activities. The proper aftercare can bring the
session to a wonderful close and prevent confusion or alienation of the
spankee. If the spanking was for punishment, these soothing actions can of
course not be done. But eventually the spankee should be made aware that
they have been forgiven for the transgression and assured that you still
care for them.
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